Monday, January 21, 2008

Wow...... It's been a long time!

Three months? Seems like it's been even longer. So much has happened since October..... Halloween, Thanksgiving, Emotional visits with in laws, Christmas, My 30th birthday, and on and on.

It's a new year and a new start right? I wish I could say that I resolved to blog more in 2008, but that just isn't the case. I will say that I won't feel like I have to blog regularly in 2008, and I can tell you that this blog will be more than just knitting.

It's winter now and winter isn't a good time for me to be doing much with my hands. The swelling, pain, and just feeling not like myself is back. And with all that comes the endless doctor visits. Each time, telling me I need to be poked, prodded, or scanned some more. I'm tired already just thinking about it. I stopped going to the doctors last winter because I just couldn't take it, but I have to try again.

I'm 30 now. 30. I always thought that at 30 I would feel grown up. Let's forget that I have 3 kids...that in itself should make me feel like a grown up...but it doesn't. So here I am 30 years old. Some ways I feel so much younger and some ways I feel older.

I always feel younger when I am with the kids. They make me laugh every day and they remind me how precious life is. In an instant I can be transformed into a robot, or a tickle monster, or even a princess trapped in a castle. Of course they have their moments, times when I have to be the grown up, but in general, I feel like a kid with them.

Then the flip side is when I go to school. I started classes again this semester. Sitting in a classroom full of freshly graduated high school students, I always feel out of place. Not only out of place, but a little envious as well. I didn't finish college when I was their age. I could have, but life took me on a different path. Now I sit and listen to them complain about homework and not having any time to study. I really want to shake them and tell them to TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY. Never again will they be able to focus so totally on school. Once they are married and have children, their focus will shift and nothing will be just for them anymore. Never will they again feel only responsible for themselves. I want to yell at them, tell them not to squander this opportunity, tell them to use it to their full advantage.

But I don't. I sit and smile as I listen to them talk of parties, of who said what, and where they were going this weekend. Maybe one day I will have the nerve to say something. I doubt it, but you never know.

Now that I have rambled on and on about pretty much nothing, I will leave you with a promise.

I promise that I will blog at least once a week. I have been known to break promises, but I will try to keep this one. Next time I will tell you about the new thing that I am involved in, and how it has taught me so much about people.

Stay warm and dry! It's snowing like crazy here and I think I am going to go bake some bread...bread like this Yummmmmmm.

No comments: